


A Thousand Sunflowers

by sondeneige



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Magic, Magical Realism, Mentions of Anxiety, Plant Magic, it's pretty fluffy I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-04-17 11:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14188149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sondeneige/pseuds/sondeneige
Summary: Newly successful author Kaneki takes a retreat to a cottage in the forest to get away from the pressures of the city. Not expecting there to be anyone else there. Let alone a person who seems to know an unusual amount about plants, and who… is awfully cute if Kaneki is being honest with himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all like this! It’s been a lot of fun to write.  
> Many thanks to [Midori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/midoriverte/pseuds/midoriverte) as always for her beta reading and encouragement. I wouldn’t be able to do this without you <3

Kaneki finally unloads the last of the boxes from his car, placing them down as soon as he gets into the doorway of the house that he is renting, _ more of a cottage really,  _ he thinks. He sighs as he looks around at the various boxes filled with carefully packed plants. Kaneki had barely had space to pack the things he needed for himself with the amount of plants that had been pushed onto him. 

Just because the protagonist of his newest book is a botanist doesn’t mean he needs to ‘get a feel for plants’ as his editor had insisted. He hadn’t had time to explain that caring for plants wasn’t really what botanists did before a whole collection of them had shown up at his apartment days before he was set to leave for his retreat, and darn it plants took up a lot of space when you were packing them. 

He sighs again as he turns to look out the still open door. A lush green view greets him. He takes it all in, the door opens out to are a few steps down to a small dirt path. It leads from the doorway in which Kaneki stands to the end of the dirt road; which forms a parking spot of sorts, where Kaneki has parked his small car. The path cuts through very soft looking, very green grass. 

Kaneki ponders whether he has ever seen anything so green in his life. Then again that’s not even counting the trees which ring the small meadow in which the cottage sits. The trees are somehow green too. And all of it together is more shades of green than Kaneki’s eyes even know what to do with. 

It’s simultaneously overwhelming and beautiful at the same time.  

Kaneki turns back into the house, deciding to leave the door open to let it air out. He isn’t normally one for the outdoors but if he is going to be out here he figures he might as well get used to it. Besides, the air out here seems to have a different, more welcoming quality, one that makes him want to breathe in deep and and stay in it for long periods of time. 

He walks through the house he rented for the next few months, exploring its various rooms and opening up windows as he goes. The house is more traditional than Kaneki is used to from living in the city. Although it isn’t as old as he was worried it was going to be. 

The small kitchen in the back has a second door which leads out into what Kaneki supposes you could call the backyard. Really it’s just the same meadow from the front surrounded by more forest. Although this section of the meadow looks more tended to. In it there is a small fenced in patch of dirt which the proprietor he had got the keys from had cheerily told him he was more than welcome to garden in. There are also some bushes lining the edge of the garden which looked planted; as well as some wooden chairs and a matching table. 

Kaneki walks up to the table and runs his fingers along it as he looks out into the nearby forest, it might be nice to write out here when the weather holds. 

Maybe being around all these plants was going to do him and his book good after all. 

Kaneki heads back inside and begins unpacking. He first puts the perishable food away in the fridge and then moves his various bags and boxes into the pertinent rooms to be fully unpacked later. Once he finishes that he arrives back in front of the collection of plants which are still just inside the doorway. “Now, what on earth am I supposed to do with all of these?” he asks no one. 

He starts carefully unwrapping from the plants from the various ways they had been protected during the long car ride and placing them around the house. He starts with the window sills,  _ plants like sunlight right? _

Quickly he runs out of viable window spots and starts having to use various tables around the small cottage. One of the plants is in a big pot which he figures is designed to just go on the floor so that’s where he lugs it, making sure it is in sight of one of the living room windows. A small trio of what Kaneki is pretty certain are kitchen herbs goes in the small kitchen window which overlooks the backyard from above the sink. 

Placing the herbs meant he had finished up with getting all of the plants unpacked so he washes his hands and begins investigating the kitchen while he is there. Kaneki is happy to see that the promise that the kitchen comes equipped with all the necessary utensils and appliances was kept. Kaneki nods happily at the sight of the good quality coffee maker he had made sure the cottage had in advance. 

On his way here he had driven through the closest town and been glad to see it wasn’t as far as he was expecting. It looked like they had a pretty large grocery store. He would take a trip down there soon to get stocked up. 

Once all of his food is settled around the kitchen Kaneki begins making himself a quick stir fry for dinner. As it’s cooking Kaneki sits down with a huff at the small kitchen table, more tired from his long drive and unpacking than he realised.  

_ Tomorrow _ , he thinks,  _ I’ll give myself just the morning to unpack and settle in and then I need to start working _ . He nods firmly at himself and then dishes out his finished stir fry onto the waiting plate and sits down to eat it with the first sense of accomplishment he’s felt in a long, long time. 

~ ~ ~

A couple days later Kaneki makes his way down the narrow dirt road that leads from the cottage to the nearby town. He had maybe not quite achieved his goal of getting started that very afternoon but after finishing unpacking he had at least looked at his various notes and outlines which he has written before now. 

Which were kind of a disaster if he was being honest. But that was why he was out here, and at least now he had an idea of what he was working with. 

As Kaneki drives into town he sees the grocery store he had spotted the other day and pulls into the parking lot. After parking he sits in the driver’s seat for a minute, gathering himself before he heads inside. 

He gets out of the car and goes inside, pulling out the list he’d created on his phone of all the food he wanted to stock up on so that he didn’t have to come to town too regularly. Avoiding people, after all, was the whole idea of this trip. Grabbing a cart Kaneki weaves through the aisles slowly filling it with everything he needs.

As he is turning to the next aisle a display catches his eye. 

It’s a display of seeds. Plant seeds. Some flowers, but mostly vegetable seeds. An image of that tilled, fenced in garden in the backyard springs to Kaneki’s mind and on impulse he grabs some packets of seeds.  _ I’m here to learn about plants right?  _ he thinks to himself.  _ What better way than to grow some. And besides, maybe if I don’t fail miserably and kill all of these I can eat them later. _

~ ~ ~

Kaneki doesn’t plant the seeds right away when he returns to the cottage, instead throwing himself into his work as he’s meant to. One day however, roughly a week later he is stopping to make himself a fresh pot of coffee and he spots the packets of seeds where he had left them on the kitchen counter. 

After his coffee brews he gathers together the packets and carries them into the living room with his steaming mug. _Ok,_ _now how do you not fuck this up?_

He picks up the first seed packet: ‘Napa Cabbage’ it reads. Kaneki is pleasantly surprised when he turns it over and he finds basic instructions on the back of the packet itself.  _ Maybe this isn’t so hard after all, _ he thinks as he opens a new browser window and begins googling how to plant and care for cabbage plants. 

An hour later he sits back, coffee long empty, and multiple pages in his notebook full with notes on how to plant and care for a garden and all the plants he had purchased. Everything had been both complicated and simplified by his searching but he feels now like he has a plan and that maybe by the end of the summer he would even be able to eat some food he grew himself. 

Just wait till his editor heard that. ‘Feel the character’ indeed _.  _

The next morning he brings his packets of seeds and his notebook outside to check out the small garden he has to work with. Kaneki comes to an abrupt stop as he realises that he has zero gardening tools to work with, or equipment to make a trellis out of for the plants that need one of those. He eyes the nearby forest warily, getting the feeling like he shouldn’t disturb it to collect materials for a trellis. Any hope he had managed to collect comes crashing out of him. 

He sighs glumly and turns back to go back into the cottage,  _ Well, it was a nice thought. Not sure why I thought someone like me would be able to do something like that and make all those plants grow _ . As Kaneki looks towards the doorway leading back into the kitchen he notices a box attached to the back of the house… a box which looked like it might house gardening supplies. 

Kaneki blinks. 

He approaches the box, quickly setting down everything he’s holding, he slides open the latch and opens the lid. Inside he finds everything he could imagine he needs and more. Gloves and a shovel and tiny shovels (Kaneki thinks he remembers those being called trowels) some twine. Even some simple bamboo trellises. 

Kaneki sits back on his heels staring into the box for a moment. Before nodding firmly, and picking up his notebook from where he had set it down to look at his notes to figure out exactly what he needs to get started. 

After that first long morning of gardening Kaneki only finds himself needing to tend to the garden for a couple minutes each day.

It’s rather boring if Kaneki is being honest, considering at this point his garden is just dirt but hopefully soon he would at least have something to look at. 

One time about a week after planting, as he is crouching down to inspect for sprouts, he gets a feeling on the back of his neck, an urge to look out into the forest. Not a bad feeling necessarily, and it’s not unusual if Kaneki is being honest with himself for the forest to give him unusual feelings but this. But this is sharper than normal. More focused. 

He scans the tree line. 

Seeing nothing but green and more green, like always, he shakes himself mentally and stands up to go inside and start his work for the day. 

~ ~ ~

Over the following weeks Kaneki settles into a routine in the little cottage. Every morning he gets up, waters the plants in the house which need it (someone had told him once that the way to check was to feel the soil and if it was dry it needed watering and none of them had died yet). Then he would make himself some coffee and settle in to his laptop until lunch. 

Then after lunch he would go outside and tend to the garden. Watering it a bit as he was instructed, weeding when it was needed. Staring more than he would ever admit at the tiny plants as they began to sprout up through the soil. 

Even crouching down with his phone and taking pictures of some of them in the sunlight. After doing that he would round off his day with more of the same; sometimes bringing his laptop outside and sitting at the wooden chairs and table to do his afternoon’s work. After dinner he would take a break from his own writing and read from one of the books which he had brought with him or something similarly relaxing. 

It was as he was just standing back up from crouching down to inspect his growing plants one afternoon, about a month after he had first come out to the cottage, that something changed. 

As Kaneki was standing back up again he very nearly fell back over again. Because there, leaning against the fencing surrounding the small garden, is a man.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much to everyone who commented, you were all so excited and complimentary and it gave me such energy and joy! I hope that you enjoy this chapter as well :)

The man is wearing green… clothes of some sort, has warm blond hair which falls to just above his shoulders and a disarmingly bright smile. Kaneki gapes slightly. 

“Yo!” the blond man calls out cheerily. 

“H-hello…” Kaneki responds hesitantly. 

“I like your garden, can I come in and see?” the man asks, leaning even further up on his toes. Kaneki nods mutely, still not entirely sure what is going on. 

The man quickly circles around to the gate and lets himself in. Immediately he crouches down to inspect and fawn over the growing plants. Up closer Kaneki can see his clothes more clearly. 

His shirt is sleeveless and seems to be made out of woven grass stalks, he has some sort of what looks to Kaneki like fern leaves for a skirt to cover down to just above his knees. Most impressive is the full length cape woven out of vines which flows behind him. 

Kaneki stands motionless and stares at the newcomer as thoughts race through his head.  _ Where did this guy come from? Is he living in the woods? _ Kaneki’s eyes shoot to the tree line in trepidation. 

“Um-” Kaneki starts, not really sure what he is going to say but feeling like he should say something.

“Your plants are really happy,” the forest man says instead.

“Pardon?” 

“Your plants.” The man repeats, gesturing to the sprouts, “You’re taking really good care of them, they’re really happy.”

“Uhhh. Thank you. That’s- that’s good.” Kaneki stutters out.  _ Clearly this guy knows a lot about plants, living in the forest and all, good to know I’m doing something right.  _

“Oh!” the man quickly straightens and turns, his cape sweeping behind him, but not hitting any of the plants. “I’m Hide!” he says brightly.

“Kaneki,” Kaneki automatically responds. 

“Nice to meet you!” Hide bows, but informally. Again, automatically Kaneki responds in like. 

The next afternoon Kaneki goes out to water the garden and is shocked to find the sprouts have grown considerably since the day before. He blinks, he must be imagining it. 

“See, look. Happy plants!” Hide proclaims, leaning on the fence again. 

Somehow Kaneki jumps even more than he had the day before when Hide had first arrived. “Y-yeah,” he says weakly, “they’re growing really quickly.”

Hide hums thoughtfully, “Can I come in and help?” he inquires.

“Yeah, sure.” Kaneki responds, gesturing to the gate.

It begins to be somewhat of a routine, almost every afternoon over the next couple of weeks when Kaneki would go out to water the garden Hide would either be already there looking at the growing plants or would approach once Kaneki was outside. 

One afternoon after they take care of the plants together Kaneki nervously picks up the book he had left on the back step. He had finished writing a section of his draft that morning and was rewarding himself by taking the afternoon off to read for pleasure. Ideally he would like to do so outside seeing as it was such a nice day. Kaneki glances nervously over at Hide who is just latching the garden gate, not sure how he would react to this change in routine. 

Hide perks up, “What’s that?” he asks. 

Kaneki turns the cover towards Hide, “I’m going to read outside today because it’s so nice out, instead of going back inside,” he explains as he makes his way over to one of the chairs.

Hide tilts his head to the side and follows him over to the table. 

“Um,” Kaneki stiffens in his seat, “what are you doing?”

“Joining you! Is that alright?” Hide asks.

“How-” Kaneki looks down at the book in his hands, “I’m going to read Hide, we can’t both read this book at the same time. I could go get you a different one…” he trails off.

“No no” Hide waves his hand quickly, “I wanna know about that one.” He pauses, “oohh I know! Could you read it to me?” 

“Read it… to you?” Kaneki asks haltingly. 

“Yeah! Like out loud,” Hide smiles warmly, “if that’s alright that is?”

Kaneki ponders whether Hide knows how bright and coercive his smile is, “Y-yeah. Sure.”

Kaneki flips to the front of his book (he had been a chapter and a half in) and clears his throat a bit, glancing up at Hide, his eyes meet warm brown ones which are locked intently on him. Kaneki’s eyes widen slightly and he clears his throat again as he looks down at the book and begins. 

Kaneki sighs after Hide leaves that evening. Thinking about his new book, which by all accounts was coming along well but still… he sighs again. 

His last book had done well. Shockingly well. 

So well that Kaneki hadn’t known what to do with himself afterwards and had spiraled somewhat. He’d always been an anxious person but this had just set him over an edge he hadn’t realised he had. Being in the city and being surrounded by reminders of his book, even if they were just aspects of his normal life made his usually manageable anxiety reach a fever point. Which also meant he had been completely unable to write anything for his next book. A prospect made all the more anxiety inducing because his last one had gone so well. 

And so… 

A cottage in the forest. He had rented it for the summer and, “Maybe even the fall too?” the proprietor had asked hopefully. The cottage certainly isn’t large, or fancy, or even particularly well located so Kaneki didn’t need to break the bank to afford it. Although Kaneki thought the atmosphere alone deserves a higher fee, he wasn’t sure whether the visitor from the woods was a pro or a con just yet.   

Reading after they tend the garden becomes another part of Hide and Kaneki’s routine. They can’t sit out there as long as they do that first day, Kaneki after all is out here for work. But everyday after working in the garden they sit down to read a bit more out of the novel, and afterall Kaneki reasons, gardening is kind of like research so it’s not like he’s wasting time. 

~ ~ ~

As Hide helps Kaneki water the plants each day he gives him tips for which ones need water and which ones don’t. Somehow always 100% certain in his judgements. Hide also tells him many things about the various plants Kaneki planted. How much yield they will bring, tips for keeping them healthy, which bugs and animals like which plants and how to keep them away. 

Kaneki attempts to absorb all of the information Hide provides him, at the very least it would make his garden healthy and at most it would help him with his book. But it is difficult. 

Hide talks terribly quickly once he gets excited (which is often). Kaneki isn’t sure how he was expected to keep up, let alone remember all the information.  _ Besides,  _ Kaneki thinks one afternoon as he half listens to Hide chipper ramblings,  _ hopefully he sticks around and I won’t need to remember for myself.  _ Kaneki starts, slightly surprised at his own thought, but not willing to back down from it. Hide being here is undeniably making his ‘retreat from all of humanity’ brighter and more enjoyable so why not embrace that.

It is a while later that they reach the end of the book, Hide gasping at every twist and turn. Kaneki finishes reading the final page and looks up to see Hide wiping his eyes with the back of his hands. 

“Kaneki,” Hide sniffles, “you didn’t tell me it was going to be such a sad book.” Hide’s tears start flowing even harder, “Why did he have to die?” 

Kaneki stares dumbfounded for a long second at Hide, not sure what to make of the ache in his chest. 

“I- I mean I didn’t know but,” Kaneki looks down at the book, “it’s a tragedy, I usually read tragedies. And often the protagonists die,” he says apologetically. “I’m sorry, I- I really didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“And he’s a human right?” Hide asks, “he’s really really dead?”

“Yeah he’s human,” Kaneki says in confusion, glancing at Hide. “This is the only book too, no twist continuation or anything.”

Hide wipes his eyes one more time, “That was sad.”

“That’s kind of the point,” Kaneki says, placing the book down on the table between them. It’s by one of his favourite authors. 

A small pout forms on Hide’s face, “Hm, I suppose enjoyed your sad book. I should go now though.” Kaneki nods automatically in response. Hide stands and trots off into the forest, waving back as he goes, his green cape making him disappear quickly as soon as he turns back around. 

Kaneki frowns, not sure he likes how final that felt, but trying to shrug it off.  _ Nothing indicates he won’t be back _ , he tries to tell himself firmly, not to much avail. 

~ ~ ~

The next day Kaneki wakes up to the sound of rain pounding on the roof of the cottage. He frowns, knowing that regardless of whether Hide was planning on coming back or not, it wouldn’t be today. He never showed up when it rained. The garden didn’t exactly need watering and tending it was a nightmare in the mud created by the downpour. 

He allows himself to wallow in bed for a while longer, staring out at the rain which mostly obscures his vision of the forest beyond his bedroom window, before he drags himself up out of bed and into the kitchen.  _ If ever there is a day that coffee is required before work _ , he thinks,  _ it’s today. _

Once he has a large cup of coffee in hand he settles into the living room with his laptop and starts writing. 

He finds his focus near non existent however. After hopping around documents and writing a few words here a few words there for the length of time it takes him to drink his coffee he sighs and stands. Grabbing his laptop and empty mug he brings them into the kitchen.  _ Might as well make an early lunch _ , he thinks. 

He sets his laptop down on the table and turns on some music to listen to while he cooks, trying to ignore the fact that he never used to need background noise in order to not feel lonely.

Kaneki finishes making his lunch and sits at the kitchen table to eat it. He remains there for his afternoon work. Drinking more coffee and regularly looking out the back window over the garden and into the woods beyond. No longer trying to pretend that he is not staring into the woods for a glimmer of movement. 

But seeing nothing.

~ ~ ~

The rain continues for another three days and Kaneki remains cooped up in the house, getting increasingly stir crazy, an emotion he is not familiar with. Months ago he would have jumped at the excuse to remain alone in a house without seeing anyone for as long as possible. Something is different this time. Kaneki does his best not to examine the difference, but he can feel it. 

A desire to see Hide’s bright smile and hear his cheery voice. Kaneki’s chest and cheeks warm at the thought of seeing Hide in front of him and he shakes himself, staring firmly down firmly at the flashing cursor on his screen. 

On the fourth day Kaneki wakes up to the sound of bird song and squints as he opens his eyes. He abruptly sits up as he realises that the sun has finally come out from behind the clouds. Quickly, he dresses, and makes his way into the kitchen. Setting up the coffee maker to run as he goes into the bathroom to get ready for the day. 

He comes back into the kitchen, preparing his coffee and grabbing everything he needs to work and bringing it outside. 

Kaneki stops in his tracks staring at the wooden table as he realises that it is still soaking wet. But he only pauses for a moment before remembering he had spotted cushions in the garden box. He gingerly sets his laptop and coffee down on the step and opens the box to grab two cushions out. Kaneki brings them over to the table, he sets one on the seat of the chair he intends to use and another on the table for his laptop to sit on before going back to the step and grabbing what he had left there and setting himself up at the table. 

He settles in, pulling up his documents to get started on his work for the day, feeling more able to focus than he has been able to in days at the smell and feel of finally being outside. 

Kaneki was just getting into the rhythm of writing, his first cup of coffee recently finished, when, “Kaneki!” interrupts his writing and makes him jump. 

He looks up to find Hide’s smiling face leaning down to be close to him. 

“Hello!” Hide says cheerily, “How are you? It rained a lot didn’t it? The plants are happy about it. What did you do the past couple days? I hope you didn’t get too wet, your clothes don’t look very waterproof. Why are you sitting outside so early? Why-”

“Hide!” Kaneki cuts him off. 

“I can only answer so many questions at a time,” Kaneki says as he gestures for Hide to sit. Which he does, his cape swinging around to pad the wet seat. As Hide turns Kaneki notices that Hide’s cape is somehow even more green and even more vibrant than it usually is. 

Kaneki tries not to think about how good it feels to see Hide’s face after such a short time of being seperated. He takes a deep breath, “I’m well, glad it’s stopped raining.” He pauses in his answering for a moment to remember what else Hide asked, looking over to see Hide looking at him patiently, “I didn’t get wet, I didn’t go outside. I just stayed inside working. That’s what I’m doing out so early today, felt like working outside earlier because I was trapped inside for so long.”

Hide tilts his head. He glances down at Kaneki’s laptop quizzically. “You’re working? What do you do?” 

“I’m-” Kaneki pauses, “yeah that’s what I’m doing when I’m on my laptop, what I’m doing up here,” he gestures at the house, “I write books actually, I’m an author.”

“Oooh,” Hide enthuses, “books like the one we read?”

“Oh god no,” Kaneki shakes his head, “I’m certainly not that good. Takatsuki Sen is a national treasure, I’m just alright.”

“Yeah but, is it  _ like _ the one we read. All sad and tragic?” Hide asks.

Kaneki blushes slightly. “Y-yeah. Yeah, it’s pretty sad, this one not as much as my other ones but I do tend to write pretty sad books.” 

Hide sends a small glare at Kaneki’s laptop but then perks up, “Can I hear?” 

“Wh-what?” Kaneki stutters. 

“Can you read me some of your story?” Hide inquires, “If that’s alright.” 

Instinctively Kaneki begins to say no. Usually he refuses to show anyone other than his editor and the people at the publishing company his work until it is complete, and even them reluctantly at times. But something about Hide makes him feel differently. Maybe it is his how earnest he is, maybe it is the fact that they are in the middle of the woods with no one around. Maybe it’s how sweet his smile is. 

Kaneki stops himself before he gets too far into pondering reasons why everything feels different, “S-sure,” he stumbles out, “I can read you something. Lemme just, find a bit to read.” 

Hide lights up. “Okay!”

Kaneki quickly resaves and closes the section he was working on and skims through his folders searching for an earlier, more polished part of the book to share. He nods firmly when he finds something which might work, opening it up. 

As it loads he glances up at Hide nervously, “Remember this isn’t the final version, and this isn’t from the very beginning of the story,” he says. “I can’t read you the whole thing like the other one, it’s not actually finished yet.”

Hide nods understandingly, “The crop still has to mature, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy looking at its growth so far right?”

“Yeah, yeah you’re right.” Kaneki had never thought about his work in such generous terms before, “OK here goes.”

Kaneki reads the chapter out to Hide, keeping his eyes firmly on the screen the entire time for fear of seeing any of the reactions which might be on Hide’s face, even if they may be positive. If he had looked up he would have seen Hide staring enraptured at Kaneki the whole time. 

Kaneki reaches the end of the chapter and clears his throat self-consciously, finally looking over at Hide. Directly into his wide, awed eyes. 

“You wrote that?” Hide asks.

“Y-yeah.” Kaneki responds hesitantly. 

“Woah” Hide enthuses. 

Kaneki can feel himself blushing slightly. “It’s not much really,” he says, “this isn’t finished or anything and I’m not sure about it anyways.”

“Don’t say that. It was incredible! And you said you write books, so you have other ones?” he prompts and Kaneki nods, “Nothing springs up overnight, those ones didn’t either right?”

“Well, yeah.” Kaneki responds.

“Well then,” Hide says firmly, “give yourself time.” Hide smiles at Kaneki warmly and Kaneki can feel the heat in his cheeks spreading. 

Hide continues, “I especially liked the main character with his all plants, what was he called? A bota- something?”

“A botanist. It means someone who studies plants.” Kaneki explains. 

“Yeah! I like that.” Hide says. As he shifts in his chair excitedly Kaneki is reminded that Hide is wearing clothing which appears to be entirely made of plants and comes out of the depths of the forest every day. Along with his encyclopedic knowledge of plants. It’s no wonder Hide likes his botanist character. Kaneki really hopes he is doing him justice. 

Hide stands, “I know you have to do more work on your great book but do you wanna check out how the plants fared in the rain and then I’ll leave you to it?” Hide extends his hands to Kaneki. 

Even if he really should work Kaneki doesn’t want Hide to leave. He takes Hide’s offered hand and together they make their way over to the garden. 

They approach and Kaneki is able to see the plants. “What?” he says confusedly. 

“Hmm?” Hide hums curiously. 

Kaneki stares. “When did the plants get so big??” he asks incredulously. The plants are significantly larger than they were before the rain began. Instead of being in the stage of looking like baby plants they all look like they’re not far from full grown, and seem to be  __ slightly rustling despite a complete lack of wind.  _ I must be imagining that part _ . “What?” Kaneki asks again, turning to Hide.

Hide blinks innocently back at Kaneki. “Well it did rain a lot.” Hide responds simply. 

Kaneki turns and stares into the garden again. “But-” he starts again, although he’s not even sure what his protest will be. 

Hide cuts him off, squeezing his hand slightly, “Trust me, plants love the rain, they’re really happy.”

Kaneki turns back to Hide. Something still didn’t quite feel right but between the soft smile on Hide’s face and the warmth Kaneki could feel spreading up his arm from where Hide had gently squeezed his hand he couldn’t find a protest to have. 

“Y-yeah, okay.” Kaneki concedes. 

Hide’s smile brightens. “C’mon,” he tugs on their joined hands pulling Kaneki into the garden, “I’ll show you the new parts of the plants! Like your botanist!”. 

Together they enter the garden and both crouch down and explore the newly changed garden. Hide often leaning in close to Kaneki, their hands brushing as they examine everything. Hide teaches Kaneki even more about the plants which are growing in his garden. 

All of Kaneki’s prior research could never have taught him as much as Hide has in the past weeks. As he looks at Hide through lattice of growing tomato plants; at his warm brown eyes, at his expressive hands Kaneki thinks about how truly lucky he is to have met this man out here in the middle of nowhere. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might answer some questions ;)

Kaneki and Hide get back into the routine they had had before. Meeting up in the afternoons, when it isn’t raining, looking after the plants and then sitting and reading. Kaneki is reading his way through another book with Hide but often he will end up just reading snippets of the book that he is working on to him instead. 

Which usually would be something he would hate and fear the very concept of. But somehow with Hide he finds he is coming to love reading bits of his book aloud. Hide’s enthusiasm and love for Kaneki’s work is seemingly never ending, regardless of how rough the segments are. Hide is also more than willing to correct Kaneki’s missteps in botany, or answer his questions, when Kaneki manages to work up the courage to ask them. 

One afternoon Kaneki pauses as they step out of the garden, having just looked over to the table and panicked slightly at the realisation he forgot their current book inside.

“Um,” Kaneki says, getting Hide’s attention. “I forgot the book inside do you- do you want to come in? I could read to you, maybe make you some coffee?” 

Hide’s face lights up. “Yes please!” he says excitedly, practically leaving the ground as he springs up from where he had been crouched down. 

Kaneki leads the way to the back door, his heart pounding in his chest, mind racing in worry about whether or not he had cleaned up properly and myriad other worries. He opens the back door for Hide and gestures for him to enter. Hide does, dipping his head politely at Kaneki as he walks through the door, a wide grin on his face. 

“Go on through to the living room,” Kaneki says, “I’ll make us some coffee.”

Kaneki is on his way to the coffee maker on the kitchen counter but stops in confusion when Hide doesn’t respond,  _ It’s not like him to be quiet. _ Kaneki turns around worriedly, he can just see him in the living room through the doorway which connects the two rooms.

“Hide?” he asks hesitantly. Kaneki walks up to beside where Hide is stood very still just inside the living room and follows his intent gaze. 

A slight gasp slips out of Kaneki. All of the plants in the room appear to be trembling,  _ no shaking is a better word really. The room isn’t shaking too so it’s not an earthquake… what’s happening.  _ Out loud he says, “Hide what’s-”

But Hide cuts him off, “Why do you have all these plants in here?” His voice is colder than Kaneki has ever heard it and the plants’ shaking increases. Kaneki can hear a rustling noise coming from their movement now and glances at them nervously before looking back at Hide. 

“Uhh,” Kaneki isn’t sure what Hide means. “The plants? They’re just, plants,” Hide’s eyes snap sharply to Kaneki’s and his throat feels dry, “like outside,” he explains somewhat weakly. “I’m looking after them. I brought these ones with me though.”

Hide doesn’t respond. 

He just steps further into the living room, closer to the plants, which seem to both settle and also strain towards him at his proximity. Kaneki swallows heavily. 

“Why?” Hide repeats. 

He’s now standing beside the large plant whose pot is placed on the floor not far from the window and is reaching out to it. It’s large broad leaves are, Kaneki briefly wonders if he’s going insane because, the leaves of the plants are twisting and clinging to Hide’s hand as he strokes it. 

“W-why?” Kaneki echoes in a weak voice. “My- my editor sent them with me.” 

“Why did they do that?”

“Because of my book?” It comes out as a question. “It was to help me ‘feel the character’ you know. Get to know what looking after plants feels like. Even though that’s not what botanists do but my editor didn’t really listen when I tried to explain that. I think maybe she just wanted to give me something to take care of so I wouldn’t end up just wallowing out here alone. She knows what a botanist is…” he trails off still nervously looking at where the plant is still slowly twisting around Hide’s fingers.

Hide huffs, moving now towards the plants which are set out on the windowsill. They too strain towards him the closer he gets and when he moves his hand close they also wrap around and between his fingers. 

_ It looks like they’re greeting him, _ Kaneki thinks, and then mentally shakes himself because,  _ what? Plants can’t ‘greet’ people.  _

Hide interrupts his internal conversation, “What about your plants outside? Weren’t they enough?”

“They were never part of the plan. I didn’t realise I was going to have those till I was up here and saw the garden and then went to the store for the first time and saw the seeds.”

“So you just thought it was fine to have these captive ones instead?” Hide says accusingly, his normally soft eyes sharp. 

“Capt…ive?” Kaneki feels entirely out of his depth.  _ I just wanted to write my book.  _

“Yes captive.” Hide says, the edge still in his voice. “They’re trapped in these little pots and are all stuck inside.” 

“What if I set them free! I could plant them outside?”

“Kaneki, that one is a cactus!” Hide exclaims. “He’s so far from his home. You can’t plant him here, he would just die if you stuck him outside!”

Kaneki looks down at the small spiky plant on the living room table in distress. “I tried-” he clears his throat, “I tried to look after them best I could.”

The tenseness in Hide - the fight - seems to go out of Hide, he slumps, sighing. “I know you did.”

Kaneki stills,  _ I may have messed up and kept these plants captive or whatever but I’m pretty sure whatever I did hasn’t made them literally come to life. _

“H-Hide?” Kaneki hesitantly asks. Hide hums in response, now facing away from Kaneki towards the plants in the windowsill, which are all stretching and bending towards him. “Hide why are the plants doing that?”

All of the movement abruptly stops.

Kaneki swallows. 

Hide is still facing away from him when he says, “If I told you that sometimes plants just do that would you believe me?” 

“Um,” Kaneki isn’t sure if Hide is kidding or not. 

Hide turns back around, a soft, somewhat sad smile on his face. He reaches up and rubs the back of his neck with one hand nervously. “Uh do you want to sit and I’ll explain?”

Kaneki nods numbly, not sure what else he could do at this point. He sit kneels down at one side of the table, looking sadly at the captive cactus on the table in front on him until out of the corner of his eye he sees Hide sitting down at an adjacent side of the table. Hide is sitting just as small and nervously as Kaneki is, his ever present cape swung around him to be slightly on his lap like a blanket of sorts. Hide runs his deft fingers over the plant material which makes up the cape, smoothing it down. 

“I’m not human,” Hide states clearly.

Kaneki blinks. His gaze moves up from Hide’s hands to his face, where he finds Hide looking intently back at him. 

“I’m sorry what?” Kaneki asks.

“I’m not a human, like you you’re a human right?”

“Y-yeah,” Kaneki says weakly.  _ What else would I be? _

“Yeah I’m not.” 

Kaneki repeats, “What?” 

“I’m… the best word you have for it is spirit. I’m a forest spirit. Not  _ the  _ forest spirit that’s someone else,” Hide waves his hand dismissively, as if he isn’t casually talking about multiple magical beings, “but I am a spirit, or fairy I guess of plants and of this part of the forest.” Hide smiles shyly over at Kaneki. 

They maintain eye contact. Hide’s eyes gentle but nervous. Kaneki’s wide. 

“What does- um what does that mean?” Kaneki asks. 

Hide hums, looking pleased that Kaneki isn’t running away screaming, little does he know how much experience Kaneki has at freaking out about something while remaining still and in the situation. 

“It means that I live in the forest, I always have. It means I’m a tad older than you, if my estimate of human ages is correct. Also I can do this-” Hide reaches out to an ivy plant that Kaneki had set as high as he could, on top of a sideboard in the living room. As Hide reaches the plant reaches back, like the others had been, but then it begins to  _ grow _ towards Hide. Within seconds Hide has handfuls of the ivy and it overflows onto his lap where before at its longest they could just barely touch when stretched towards each other. Hide runs his hands along the plant in a stroking motion, and murmurs words Kaneki can’t quite catch. 

“I’m twenty-seven.” Kaneki says blankly.

“Yeah,” Hide chuckles, “much older.” He looks over at Kaneki worriedly, “You okay over there?” 

Kaneki nods weakly and Hide smiles at him gently in response and says, “I think I’m going to head home now if that’s alright.” Hide stands and collects the newly lengthened ivy in his hands with care, draping its length around its pot to cascade down the shelf and pool on the floor. Then he smiles kindly at Kaneki once more, “We can talk more tomorrow okay?” Kaneki nods again, grateful Hide isn’t making him respond. 

Hide steps around Kaneki carefully and moves towards the back door. Kaneki stands and follows a distance behind him. Mutely watching as he softly shuts the back door behind him and then crosses the backyard and disappears, as he always does, into the forest. 

Kaneki stares at the spot where Hide walked into the trees for what could have been an eternity or five minutes before he manages to snap his eyes away. 

His eyes find the three little herbs which sit in his kitchen window. He feels tears spring to his eyes at the sight of them, trapped and captive in their little matching pots. So bright and colourful and convenient, to him. He steps haltingly towards them. Cautiously he reaches out a hand to one, mitsuba he thinks. He strokes it’s uppermost leaves gently at first feeling a little silly but as he strokes the leaves again the moisture in the corners of his eyes is renewed and he finds himself crying alone in his kitchen in front of a collection of herbs. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles out, “I’m sorry I’ve kept you captive here.” He reaches his hand over to the second herb, “I’m sorry,” he says again, this time with more strength. The third herb, “I’m sorry.” 

The tears are still leaking from his eyes but he squares his shoulders and moves into the living room. Once there he moves to each plant and repeats the process, gently touches a part of them while apologizing to them in turn. He goes through the whole house like this, making sure to connect with each of his plants. 

Finally he returns to his living room and kneels down beside the living room table for the last plant. He takes the cactus’ small pot between both of his hands and pulls it closer to him. Through the process his tears had stopped but now they start again. He bows his head to the tiny plant, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re so far from your home, I’m so sorry you’re trapped here.” Kaneki lifts up his head and strokes the plants spikes kindly, mindful not to hurt it or himself, “I’m sorry,” he repeats in a whisper. 

\+ + +

As soon as Hide steps out of the forest the next afternoon instead of seeing an empty garden, or maybe Kaneki sitting at the table working he sees a waving arm. Hide is grateful that Kaneki is too far away to see the wash of relief that comes over his face that Kaneki is still pleased to see him despite what he learned yesterday. 

Kaneki even stands and meets Hide partway across the field, all pretence of sitting outside doing work abandoned. “Can you help me make my inside plants happy?” Kaneki asks abruptly.

“Hello to you too,” Hide replies teasingly, but with a wide grin on his face, joy filling him at Kaneki’s question. 

“Yes, hello.” Kaneki replies quickly, “I tried to do more research last night but everything I read said I was doing things mostly right and you’re the,” he gestures at Hide, “expert. So can you help me like, figure out which ones I can plant outside? And the ones which we can’t tell me what I can do? Bigger pots? Plant food? Is that a good thing?”

“You’re cute when you ramble you know that?” Hide says. 

Kaneki looks like he isn’t sure whether he wants to pout or blush, Hide ponders how this really isn’t making Kaneki less cute. 

“Hide,” Kaneki says firmly. 

“Sorry yes, of course I’ll help,” Hide feels like his grin couldn’t get more wide. “Let’s go in and see what we can do shall we?”

Kaneki nods eagerly, and Hide thinks, not for the first time, that how cute this human is would be the death of him. Kaneki turns away towards the house, looking back to make sure Hide is following. 

Hide bounces to walk beside him, “This time maybe I can get that coffee yeah?” Hide says lightly. 

Kaneki startles, “Do you- do you drink coffee?” He not-so-subtly examines Hide out of the corner of his eye. 

_ Ah,  _ Hide thinks,  _ there it is. I knew he hadn’t just entirely got used to the idea. _ He continues out loud, “Well not as much as you do,” he chuckles, “but I can, and I have before.” 

“O-Okay,” Kaneki says, “yeah I’ll make you some.”

He opens the door for Hide who smiles at him he passes by, they make their way into the kitchen where Kaneki immediately makes himself busy setting the coffee to run. Kaneki is just finishing up as Hide says, “These ones you can plant outside, mitsuba, negi and shiso,” he points to each of the little herbs in turn. 

“Wait,” Kaneki says hurriedly, rushing into the living room. Hide waits, sitting himself down at one of the kitchen chairs and taking the opportunity to examine Kaneki’s kitchen, smiling at its homey feel. 

“Ok sorry, continue,” Kaneki rushes back in with a notebook and pen in his hands, “I wanted to make a list of what I should do and how best to care for them all.”

Hide heart threatens to burst, not only is Kaneki taking plant care and what Hide said about his plants very seriously but Hide can feel from the herbs that Kaneki spoke to them in some manner last night. Unlike Hide, Kaneki doesn’t have the ability to properly communicate with plants. However they can understand intention, especially plants which have spent time close to Hide and these ones are articulating to Hide that Kaneki had said  _ something _ to them last night. His cuteness on top of all of that just seems unfair.

“Of course,” Hide says, trying to keep his voice steady. “Want me to explain a little about each plant, whether they can go outside and if not how best you can care for them inside?”

Kaneki’s eyes light up, “Yes please! That would be perfect,” he says.

“Well like I said these ones can all go outside, they’re all either native to the region or will survive here with very little help,” Hide smiles up over at Kaneki who is rapidly taking notes. 

After a brief pause for Kaneki to prepare their coffee (Hide discovers Kaneki has sugar and adds quite a bit to his excitedly) they get up and go through the house, discussing each plant as they come across it. Many of the plants can be transplanted outside, much to Kaneki’s relief. The ones which cannot be Hide explains how large their containers should be. Two of them, he describes, could even be kept in a larger container together. 

“Wait nevermind,” Hide says, “not those two,” and moves the two plants he had indicated needed live inside together back farther apart. 

“Why not?” Kaneki asks. 

“They don’t like each other.”

“They don’t…” Kaneki trails off. 

Hide hums examining one of the plants as it shifts in his hands. 

“Ok,” Kaneki says, making a note in his book. “What about the cactus?”

“Ah, yeah! The little one!” Hide says happily moving to kneel beside the living room table, drawing the cactus’ pot close to him. Kaneki joins him, placing his notebook on the table and nervously clasping his hands in his lap. 

Hide explains, “So to be entirely honest I know very little about desert plants. And this is a quiet little guy, but I think that’s either normal for him, or for cacti,” Hide makes to stroke the cactus like he has with all the others and pulls back when he realises how spiky it is, unsure of how to proceed. 

“I think it’s called a barrel cactus,” Kaneki says hesitantly. “That’s what my research says at least but I’m sure you know better than google.”

Hide giggles, “What a cute name, humans pick such sweet names for plants sometimes.” Hide picks up the pot, looking at its base and humming. 

“Well,” he continues, “I don’t know too much about cacti. And I’m not too in tune to what he’s saying but I think a bigger pot, one that isn’t glazed, note that, and make sure it has drainage holes. He’s not a fan of this soil either, I’ll get you some sandier soil mix to put in.” Hide puts the cacti down and smiles at Kaneki warmly, “The amount you’ve been watering him is good though, less in the winter though especially with this one. And he wants you to know that he really likes you.”

“He… what? He does?” Hide notices moisture gathering at the corners of Kaneki’s eyes and feels, for what feels like the hundredth time, like his heart is going to burst. 

\+ + +

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of them don't read this because it's a Haikyuu server but shout out to the members of the OPS server for helping me get a lot of ideas and starting points for a lot of the concepts which are in this chapter (and the fic in general).


	4. Chapter 4

Over the next week between his writing and their regular gardening Kaneki goes to town and purchases appropriate pots and everything else Hide had directed him was necessary to give all of the plants a proper home. Him and Hide spend time transferring them all to their new homes. As well as replanting many plants outside. Some they integrate into the flower bed which already exists outside the house. The kitchen herbs go into the garden to spread their roots. 

Each time they need to remove a plant from its previous pot Hide whispers a word to it and it easily slides out, roots loose and shaking off the dirt they were ensconced in. Kaneki notices with a small amount of distress that each time each of the plants are lowered near the fresh dirt their roots begin wriggling and reaching out for the dirt to dig into. Kaneki understands it is only natural and that it means they are excited to be in their new homes, but that doesn’t mean the wriggling of the pale roots doesn’t alarm him somewhat. 

Hide excitedly suggests they can put the ivy along the tree line so that it can grow up along one of the tree’s trunks. 

Hide gathers up the long, trailing length of the plant and drops it in Kaneki’s arms before hefting up the pot and leading the way to the forest. Pausing along the way to instruct him to grab the shovel too, which Kaneki does with some difficulty. 

Once there (Hide had made them walk back and forth in front of the trees a few times to find the ‘perfect’ one) they place down the plant and Hide takes the shovel from Kaneki and digs a hole. He then whispers to the ivy and then lifts it out of the pot, far more quickly than Kaneki would ever have the confidence to. 

Although Kaneki supposes it helps when you can literally feel what the plant is feeling and also seemingly ask for its cooperation; just like the others’ its roots already look looser than they usually would from just coming right out of a pot and are waving, searching for new, fresh dirt. 

Hide continues explaining out loud what he is doing as he lowers the plant into the hole he dug near the base of the selected tree. “Ok now I’m going to just, help it get started,” he picks up the long winding plant and brings it to the trunk of the tree. At the sound of more of those words in a language which Kaneki is still not sure is Japanese the plant springs to life, wrapping and winding around the base of the tree. Even sending out tiny little feelers to cling into the bark. It doesn’t reach up very high, seeming to choose instead to make itself steady and well situated. Once there it settles in, its movement changing from forward and direct to soft and gentle. Even Kaneki can tell that it seems content. 

Hide certainly looks so as he smiles fondly at the ivy in its new home. 

He picks up the shovel and begins heading back towards Kaneki’s house, Kaneki half jogs to not be left behind. 

“What language are you speaking to them?” Kaneki asks.

Hide looks over at Kaneki, “It’s Japanese,” he says. 

“Is it?”

“Well,” Hide says, “it’s Ancient Japanese,” he waves his hand over his shoulder as if gesturing backwards in time. “I’m not sure in your years when it is from exactly but a long time ago. The plants respond to it better.”

“So. The plants speak Ancient Japanese?” Kaneki is skeptical. 

Hide laughs, and Kaneki joins in a bit, he agrees it sounds ridiculous said out loud but that’s what it sounds like Hide is saying. 

“No no, it’s more like, hmm,” Hide pauses, clearly thinking of how to explain, leaning against one of the fence posts of the garden fence they had just reached. “It’s like, I gotta say something to them you know? And because I’m me they’re predisposed to understanding me no matter what language I use: English, Modern Japanese, gibberish, whatever. Regardless they would get my sentiment. But for whatever reason with Ancient Japanese they seem to listen and understand me the most. So that’s what I use.” 

Kaneki nods, “That makes sense,”  _ it’s incredibly weird, but it makes sense _ . 

Hide seems to sense what Kaneki is thinking, “It’s odd I know. The various spirits have different techniques, although a bunch of them use Ancient Japanese like me.” With that Hide pushes off the fence to grab the next plant to be replanted. 

Which happens to be the little cactus. 

For him Kaneki had purchased a new pot (unglazed as instructed), and larger than the one the cactus is currently in. 

“This is alright right?” Kaneki asks Hide. Kaneki had wanted to get something a little more special than just a basic orange-y pot and so had searched around in the little garden store in town to find something with some decoration. Kaneki shows the pot to Hide, a straight sided, semi-shallow pot, the inside of which is unglazed. The outside is white with fine blue lines across it in an arching geometric pattern. He had made sure that the inside had large and numerous drainage holes. 

Hide took the pot from Kaneki’s hands, turning it over to look it inside and out. “This is perfect!” he declared, handing it back. 

Kaneki sighs in relief and together they set to repotting the cactus, ensuring there is an adequate layer of drainage rocks at the bottom and using the sandy dirt mixture Hide had brought. 

There’s only so much a cactus can move but even it, once it is in its new home rocks back and forth gently. Projecting its thanks best it could to them both. 

Within days of when they finished rehoming all of the plants it is time again to harvest the beans in the garden, an event which has occurred more than once already since Kaneki moved in because of their fast growth rate. Although when he thinks about it Kaneki is unsure of what a ‘normal’ growth rate for any plant would be if Hide wasn’t around tending to them every day. 

As Kaneki is scanning the vines to make sure they haven’t missed any beans he looks up to see Hide crouched not near the bean trellises, but across the garden looking down at the cabbages. 

“Hide? Are they alright?” Kaneki asks.

“Hm? Oh. Yes.” Hide stands, he has a small smile on his face. Kaneki knows he isn’t the best at reading people but he does know that that isn’t Hide’s normal smile; Hide’s normal smile makes his chest ache. 

Kaneki hesitates, “Is everything- are you alright?” 

Hide hesitates too, “I was just thinking, you told me once you only were renting this place for the summer right? Was just thinking how it’ll be sad when we have to harvest the other plants cause it’ll mean you’re not here for much longer.” 

Hide smiles at Kaneki again, but now Kaneki’s chest is aching with the knowledge that these aren’t Hide’s cheerful smiles. 

“O-oh,” Kaneki isn’t sure what else to respond. 

Hide breaks eye contact with Kaneki finally, passing by him to get to the other side of the bean trellis to collect some beans they’d missed. Kaneki joins him, they both remain in the silence of their own thoughts for most of the afternoon. 

As Hide leaves that evening, the setting sun making his blonde hair and amber eyes even warmer than usual are he speaks up, “I know we still have a couple months before you leave but I just- I’ll miss you. I- I’ll miss you a lot.”

“I’ll miss you too Hide,” it doesn’t feel like enough. It doesn’t feel like nearly enough to articulate how huge the emotion in his chest is towards Hide, how much he is feeling right now. But it’s all Kaneki has to say. And now Hide is leaving, walking away into the forest as he always does, and now Kaneki is alone again. 

~ ~ ~

“Kaneki!” 

Kaneki is in his bedroom changing into a different t-shirt in preparation to go outside for the afternoon when he hears the shout. He jumps, getting himself tangled in the sleeves of his shirt. 

“Kaaanneekkkiii!!” 

Hide doesn’t sound distressed, just excited but Kaneki hurries to pull on the new shirt and rush out nonetheless. He swings open the backdoor to see… a sunflower. 

The frankly massive sunflower is moved out of the way to reveal Hide with a small nervous smile on his face, “Hi,” he says in a little voice.

“Hi,” Kaneki responds automatically, slightly weakly as he’s still distracted by the sunflower whose bloom is larger than Hide’s head.

“This is for you,” Hide says as he pushes the sunflower forwards, handing what looks and feels like a moss ball to Kaneki out of which the oddly short stem leads to the head of the flower. 

“Wh-why?”

“Do you wanna sit?” Hide asks instead, Kaneki notices he still has that nervous smile on his face and nods mutely. 

They both sit at the outdoor table and Kaneki rests the moss ball in his lap, staring at the softly undulating petals of the sunflower which are now roughly eye level with him. 

Hide clears his throat. 

Kaneki away from his gift and up at Hide, who laughs nervously, “I didn’t actually plan this far ahead to be honest. I only planned as far as me giving you the sunflower and then us sitting so now I’m kind of panicking.”

He goes on, “They’re kind of my flower you see, my plant that I’m the most like uh connected to and I guess you could say represented by? I grew it for you,” Kaneki returns to staring at it. “You can plant the whole base in the ground like that and it’ll grow taller and last way longer than a regular sunflower. You can also leave it for a while just like that if you want to take it inside, it’ll survive and be happy like that because it has so much of my energy in it.” Hide takes a deep breath.

Kaneki reaches up and runs his fingers along a few of the wide, soft petals. He glances up at Hide to see him biting his lip. 

“You didn’t answer why,” Kaneki says quietly, not wanting to let the hopeful part inside of him get too big. 

“Ah, um, because, and feel free to like ignore this and return that or, or whatever. But,” Hide swallows audibly, “it’s because I have romantic feelings for you.”

Unbidden, Kaneki takes a rather sudden breath in. 

Hide rushes along, “I have since basically the moment I saw you out in your garden, although I guess at first I just thought you were cute it wasn’t quite romantic yet,” he laughs, “but then you were so smart and so sweet, and you kept reading to me, even from your own book. And always wanting to do the best thing possible for your plants, which I am a big fan of for obvious reasons and I just kept falling for you more and more.”

Kaneki feels like his heart is going to explode out of his chest. He knows he should respond to Hide in some way but he is finding it difficult to have any coherent thoughts.

So Hide continues, “And like I haven’t known a lot of humans in my life, but I’m pretty sure you’re the best one I’ve ever met. I know the whole ‘I’m a plant spirit’ and ‘you’re a human’ thing is weird. Maybe I shouldn’t be feeling this and you can tell me to leave. But I like you a lot so I had to try and… can you please say something before I just keep talking myself into being even more nervous than I already am?”

There’s a pause as Kaneki processes everything Hide has said and gathers his courage, Hide trembles, doing everything he can to be patient and not push. 

“I don’t want you to leave,” Kaneki finally responds, earning a relieved sigh from Hide. “I… I like you too,” Kaneki says. 

“You do?!” Hide exclaims.

Kaneki finally looks up, properly meeting Hide’s eyes finally, which seem to be sparkling with joy. 

Kaneki swallows, Hide’s eagerness having caught him off guard, “Y-yeah, a lot?”  _ why did that come out as a question, _ he thinks to himself in annoyance. Kaneki squares his shoulders, “I like you a lot actually,” he says firmly. “I liked you before I knew you were a spirit and I still like you now. You make… you make my chest warm, and make me happier while with another person than I ever thought possible.” 

Kaneki feels his words failing him again, but takes a deep breath when he sees Hide looking at him patiently, fondly, “Thank you very much for this sunflower, I very much do not want to give it back, it means a lot you grew it for me.” He looks at Hide and tries to convey all the warmth in his chest, hopes it gets across. 

Hide replies, “I would grow a thousand sunflowers for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 I know I just said this but thank you so much to everyone for all the really nice comments, this is my first long fic and having so much feedback and response has quite literally brought me such joy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a longer chapter than normal (it got away from me but I'm not complaining tbh) but it is also the final chapter (there will be an epilogue). 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

Kaneki stares at the impressively yellow petals of the sunflower he had been gifted, still trying to wrap his mind around everything which had happened in the past few weeks. Hide  _ liked _ him,  _ Kaneki had told him he liked him back.  _ Kaneki wasn’t sure if he had ever been so bold in his entire life. 

_ Hide isn’t even human! _ Kaneki thinks in slight alarm, the petals of the sunflower continue waving as if to confirm his thoughts. But somehow it doesn’t freak him out as much as it should. No one else has ever made him feel as safe and as at home as Hide does. Despite the fact that this isn’t even his house, despite the fact that he only just met him a couple months ago and that realistically he barely knows anything about Hide. 

_ And yet,  _ Kaneki thinks, _ I can’t wait to see him again. And I trust him more than just about anyone I know.  _ He takes a deep breath, reaches out to run his thumb along the golden petals with a smile on his face.

“Yo! Kaneki!” 

The call from outside breaks his reverie and makes him jump slightly. He turns to see Hide’s grinning face looking in through the window on the back door. Kaneki quickly stands, his chair skidding backwards somewhat across the floor, to rush to open the back door for Hide. 

Hide’s grin gets impossibly wider at Kaneki’s hurry. “I figure we’ve passed the ‘meeting outside point’ in our relationship don’t you agree,” Hide says as he steps into the kitchen. 

Kaneki nods mutely, not having yet found his words, though Hide doesn’t seem to mind. They look at each other for a moment longer, Hide fondly, Kaneki getting to fondly but currently just anxious. 

Kaneki gestures at the sunflower in lieu of speech. Hide’s follows his hand and prompts, “Yeah?”

Kaneki internally chastizes himself,  _ Now it’s time for actual words Kaneki jeez,  _ he clears his throat and continues out loud, “I mean, can you help me plant it outside?” He can feel his face heating up, “It’s so pretty and you said it could grow tall and I think it should be able to do that.” 

Hide rocks forwards onto his toes, closer to Kaneki. “You think it’s pretty?” he asks. 

The red on Kaneki’s cheeks spread, “Of-of course! The colour in the petals is so gorgeous, it’s slightly more golden near the seeds which I never looked close enough at a sunflower to notice before.” Kaneki moves over to where the sunflower is set on the kitchen table, “And the petals are  _ so _ soft, and they just keep doing that waving thing plants do around you even after you left which I thought would be creepy but just-” he cuts himself off. “I’m rambling again aren’t I?”

He turns back to Hide to find that he is the one blushing now, and noticeably more than Kaneki was. 

“Wait no,” Hide says, “I mean yes you were rambling but I love it when you do and also what were you going to say, about the waving?”

“Oh that, it made me think of you. So it was nice. It was comforting,” Kaneki isn’t looking at Hide as he says this, his focus intentionally on the sunflower as the embarrassment rushes through him at saying such a revealing statement. If he had been looking at Hide he would have been treated to Hide biting his lip in an attempt to not have a stupidly wide grin of pleasure on his face. 

“Good then,” Hide responds, “I’m glad it was comforting.”

They finally make eye contact again and both smile shyly. 

Hide continues, “Let’s get it planted outside shall we?”

Kaneki nods in agreement and so they do. Kaneki picks up the moss ball and together they head outside to give the sunflower a home in the sun. 

~ ~ ~ 

The routine of caring for plants and reading together continues, although now there is an added undercurrent of  _ something _ between the two of them through all of their actions. Hide will reach out to hold Kaneki’s hand at every opportunity. As they move through the garden they move much closer together now, brushing up against one another. Their shoulders. Their thighs. A hand against a back, on a forearm. 

One afternoon Kaneki musters his courage, “Hide, what do you eat?”

Hide laughs a bit, “Well that’s a rather broad question isn’t it.”  

“I mean, what  _ can _ you eat? Can you eat human food?”

“Oh yeah, I mean mostly. You guys have all that processed food? Not really a fan of that, I grow most of my own food, which you probably could have guessed,” he laughs again. Kaneki laughs with him. 

“I don’t really eat meat,” Hide continues, “I mean I can there’s no reason I can’t or anything just not really my thing to go around killing animals.” Hide scrunches up his nose,  _ rather adorably, _ Kaneki notes. “Why do you ask?”

Kaneki says, “Oh, I just was wondering if sometime you wanted to have dinner together. I could make you dinner I mean.”

A pause.

“Like a date,” Kaneki concludes. 

Hide lights up. “Yes! Yes absolutely I would love to eat dinner with you like a date. Tonight?”

“No!”

Hide slumps. Kaneki hurries to explain, “No, I just mean, I wasn’t sure what you ate so I don’t have much food in the house. I need to go to town. Tomorrow night?”

Hide re-lights up, “Yes please, tomorrow sounds perfect.” 

The next morning Kaneki drives to town, stocking up on lots of food,  _ hopefully some of it that Hide wants to eat _ , he thinks, and he hurries home to meet Hide for the afternoon. After their customary gardening Kaneki says, “OK no reading today I need to go make dinner.”

“Perfect,” Hide says, “that gives me time to head home and get ready.”

Kaneki is entirely unsure what Hide means by this but he nods nonetheless and they go their separate ways. Hide off into the woods, and Kaneki into the house, where he sets about preparing a vegetarian dinner made with the freshest vegetables he could find at the store, as well as the leftover beans from the recent bean harvest they had collected together. As it’s cooking it looks and smells really good to Kaneki, he just hopes Hide agrees. 

Kaneki takes a deep steadying breath. Trying to remind himself that although Hide is the type to tell him if something wasn’t right for him he would never be mean about it,  _ no reason to be so anxious Kaneki, _ he tells himself firmly. It only partially works. 

A minute later as he’s gently stirring he hears a quiet knock on the back door. 

He opens it up to a nervous looking Hide, “Hey,” Kaneki says.

“Hey.”

Hide steps into the kitchen and subsequently into the light, and Kaneki understands now what Hide meant by ‘getting ready’. 

His usual sleeveless shirt which had the appearance of being loosely woven of broad grass stalks had been replaced by a more fitted long sleeve shirt woven out of some much thinner plant. Instead of his flowy fern skirt Hide is wearing a woven skirt which also looked like more work had gone into it, out of some sort of very large leaves. 

Kaneki knew absolutely nothing about fashion but it was clear that the patterns and colours of green in this outfit had been chosen intentionally to compliment each other and to stand out. 

Hide shifts his weight from foot to foot at the scrutiny, “Uhhh, Kaneki?”

Kaneki’s eyes snap up to Hide’s face then down to his own chest, where one of his many faded black polo shirts rests,  _ I didn’t even get changed after gardening _ , he thinks in distress. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to dress up?” he says.

Hide continues to shift, “Do you like it?”

Kaneki can feel his face warming up as he says, “I do, you look really good.” Hide grins, his cheeks also turning red. “How do you make them?” Kaneki asks, walking forwards and laying his hand gently on Hide’s sleeve, Hide’s arm. Which Hide lifts up into Kaneki’s grasp. 

“Some manual weaving,” Hide says, “mostly ‘magic’, I ask the plants to grow and move for me. Ask if they’ll be my clothes. They’re alive a bit still because they spend so much time near me, especially my cloak, that’s very much alive.” While he said this Hide had twisted his arm in Kaneki’s grip and was now grasping the bottom of Kaneki’s forearm back. 

They look up at each other, meeting each others eyes,  _ he’s really close _ , Kaneki thinks. 

Kaneki steps back. “I’m sorry I didn’t get changed, I don’t have many nice clothes here but just one moment!” 

He quickly stirs the dinner one more time to make sure it wasn’t sticking to the bottom of the pan and then rushes to the bedroom before Hide can protest. Without giving himself time to over-analyse he pulls off the black polo and slips on the one nice button-up black shirt he brought with him, buttoning it as fast as he can while still making sure it is lined up. 

He hurries back into the kitchen to find Hide peering into the pan on the stove and is about to say something about how he hopes what he made is okay when Hide turns to him and grins so wide it catches him off guard. 

“What?” Kaneki says instead.

Hide walks up to him and reaches out his hands and  _ oh my god he’s running his fingers through my hair.  _

“You must have mussed it up when you took off your shirt. It was cute but I figured you didn’t want to leave it that way,” Hide says.

Kaneki blinks, all of his mental faculties having been put offline for the moment. He manages to pull together a nod. 

Hide smiles at him like he knows what he’s just done and continues, “The food smells really good. Shall we?”

“Yeah,” Kaneki tries to say but it comes out as a croak, he clears his throat, “Yes.” He moves to put the food out onto the plates he had prepared earlier and they sit down to eat. 

Kaneki is incredibly pleased to see how well his dinner turned out, and how much Hide enjoys it, enthuses about it even. The only hiccup is when, partway through dinner Hide says, “You look really good in that shirt by the way,” and Kaneki nearly chokes on the sip of water he had just taken. But even with that even Kaneki and his pessimism are able to consider the evening a success. 

~ ~ ~

Over the next few weeks they manage to somehow grow even closer, eating dinner together multiple times. Sometimes Hide brings food out of the forest for them to add to their dinner, that he says he has grown in his personal garden. 

Hide bumps Kaneki’s shoulder as they’re washing up the dishes one night, “I realised I never asked you on one of those date things,” 

Kaneki smiles, “Hide we eat dinner together almost every night.”

“Yeah but like, aren’t dates supposed to be  _ special?” _

“They don’t have to be, the point is to be together-”

Hide cuts him off, “Kaneki I’m trying to ask you if you want to do something special.”

“O-oh. Oh, yes, yes of course. What did you have in mind?”

“You’ll see,” Hide says, clearly attempting to be mysterious. Kaneki frowns. “Do you have a spare blanket though, maybe get that out? For tomorrow night.”

“A spare-? Hide what do we need a blanket for?” Kaneki asks with alarm in his voice. 

“Nothing untoward I swear. You’ll see,” Hide smiles reassuringly, though Kaneki isn’t reassured. 

After Hide leaves that night Kaneki gets out a spare blanket from the cupboard and sets it near the backdoor hesitantly. He trusts Hide but, a blanket is concerning in ways he’s not yet sure he wants to think about. He walks away from the blanket, firmly turning off the kitchen light and going to bed, trying not to worry about it. Although rather not succeeding. 

The next day Kaneki works on his book, the first draft of which is coming along incredibly well, although the main character has turned out to be much more positive than was planned. He works on his book and tries not to wonder and dwell all day on what Hide’s blanket date could possibly be. 

In the afternoon Hide shows up for their customary gardening but still no mention of the date. Finally, afterwards he says, “No dinner tonight I’ll see you later for our date,” and winks. 

_ Oh my god he just actually winked at me, _ Kaneki thinks he might actually be spontaneously combusting.  _ Wait? Later? _ “What do you mean later?” 

“Well we have to wait for it to be dark. So we can see the stars, the later the better. How does ten sound?” 

“Stars?” Kaneki asks weakly.

Hide looks like he’s holding in a giant grin, “Yeah, if that sounds good to you, I thought we would lay out and stargaze.”

Kaneki thinks very little in his life had ever sounded better but all he manages in response is a weak, “Yeah, yeah that sounds good.” 

To kill time waiting for Hide to return for their date Kaneki tries to read, and even attempts writing. Nothing really sticks so he ends up going back and forth between the two for the evening, and very slowly making and eating dinner, in the odd quiet of Hide’s absence. 

At 9:45 he hears an energetic knock on his back door and he rushes to pick up the blanket and answer. Even in the darkness Hide’s smile is blinding, Kaneki hugs the blanket to his chest, as if to squeeze the feeling of warmth that he feels there in response to Hide’s smile. 

“Hi,” Hide says brightly.

“Hi,” Kaneki responds.

“Sorry I’m early,” Hide says.

“No don’t worry about it. I’m ready,” Kaneki gestures with the blanket.

Hide smiles in response and leads out in the backyard, helping to close the door behind Kaneki. Hide leads them over into the middle of the yard, as far from the trees as they can get, “So we have the best view of the sky,” he explains. And together they spread out the blanket. 

Hide immediately lies down on his back, patting the spot beside him. Kaneki joins him, settling down onto his back. As soon as he sees the sky a gasp escapes him. “There’s so many!” 

Hide chuckles. “Don’t laugh,” Kaneki chides, “I’ve never seen so many stars before. It’s beautiful,” he says, awe in his voice. Kaneki’s eyes stay fixed on the sky above him, silent now, but if he had looked over at Hide he would see that Hide was looking at him more than he was looking at the stars. 

Many long minutes later Kaneki sighs heavily, “What’s that for?” Hide asks jokingly, “I thought it was beautiful.” 

“No it is! Oh, Hide it so so is, I just- was thinking about how I’m going home soon, and how you can’t see any stars there,” Kaneki sighs again, and in a quiet voice says, “I don’t want to leave.”

Now it’s Hide’s turn to sigh, and ask, “Where exactly do you live?”

“Tokyo? It’s like-”

“I’ve heard of Tokyo Kaneki,” Hide interrupts before Kaneki can explain. 

Kaneki flushes slightly in embarrassment, “Sorry,” he mutters. “Yeah, Tokyo. Which is like, the exact opposite of here and I’ve gotta go back in like two weeks.” 

“Yeah,” Hide says sadly, “and I can’t leave, even to visit. Especially to a place like Tokyo.”

There is another minute of silence, this one not so comfortable. Abruptly Kaneki sits up, “What if I came back next summer? I have to go home to do book stuff and my life is there but what if I rented the cottage again next summer?” His voice has a desperate edge, “And then his doesn’t have to be goodbye, not really.”

“Sure Kaneki,” Hide says simply, “I’d like that.”

He reaches up to Kaneki, “For now let’s just spend what time we have together though okay?” Kaneki complies, lying back down. Once he does Hide moves closer to him. Close enough that Hide can lie his head on Kaneki’s chest, tucked against his side. 

Kaneki freezes for a second, unsure of what to do but after a moment relaxes. They lie there in the warm night air looking again at the beautiful stars. After a while Kaneki even works up the courage to put his arm around Hide’s waist, prompting Hide to hum happily and shift closer into Kaneki. 

Kaneki starts thinking about one time he had been forced to go to a book event in some fancy hotel high over Tokyo. Mostly he had stood in a corner sipping one drink the entire night, but what he did remember was how incredible the view was. It too looked like millions of tiny dots of lights in a sea of black. The scale is different, and of course Kaneki understands how very different stars are from street lights but Kaneki can’t help but compare that view to the one he is looking at now. 

Both are incredible, both are beautiful. In very unique ways. And he has a moment of feeling very… lucky, that he has gotten to see both. 

His reverie is broken by quiet voice against his chest, “Kaneki?”

_ How did I almost forget Hide is there? _ Kaneki’s hand tightens around Hide’s waist instinctively, “Yeah?”

“Um,” Hide says, voice still quiet, “absolutely feel free to say no and don’t feel pressured or anything but how would you feel about kissing me?”

“Pardon?” Kaneki’s voice cracks. 

Hide sits up, out of Kaneki’s grasp, “Sorry no, forget I said anything, don’t worry about it.”

Kaneki looks up at Hide. His blond hair making him still relatively easy to see in the faint moonlight, the backdrop of stars around him. “I didn’t say no,” Kaneki says looking directly into Hide’s eyes. 

Hide stares at Kaneki for a second longer, before almost lunging forward. His mouth meeting Kaneki’s too hard for a second before readjusting, pulling back. Hide starts to move his lips against Kaneki’s, his hair falling in a curtain around them. Kaneki does his best to mirror Hide’s actions, moving his lips in unison. 

Kaneki feels he must be doing something right because Hide sighs at the sensation, his lips parting slightly, a motion he also mirrors. Their parting lips prompting them to turn their heads so they can move closer together. The sigh itself sends goosebumps all along Kaneki’s body. Which by extension makes Kaneki suddenly aware that Hide is _on top of him_ , his tanned, bare forearms resting on either side of his head and legs on either side of his hips. 

Pushing up into Hide, Kaneki deepening the kiss further and reaching around Hide’s back and pulling him down closer to him. Not thinking, not working towards anything, just wanting him close. 

A request with which Hide willingly complies, shifting lower onto Kaneki, resting most of his weight on him. 

Neither of them could say how much time passes but slowly the intensity calms. And soon Hide is half on Kaneki half on the ground and they are lazily kissing, catching their breath in between. At some point Kaneki opens back up his eyes, not really sure when he had closed them and gasps. 

“Was that a shooting star?!” Kaneki says unnecessarily loud with Hide so close. 

“Oh.” Hide says, “Probably.”

“What do you mean ‘Probably’?” Kaneki asks, offended tone in his voice. 

“That’s why I picked tonight,” Hide replies, “there’s a meteor shower, it must finally be late enough that they’re out.”

“What if we missed them all while we were,” Kaneki gestures.

Hide smirks, “Making out?” Kaneki glares in response. 

“They’re going to peak at 4AM I guarantee we didn’t miss them all,” Hide replies, pecking Kaneki on the lips for good measure. Kaneki makes a soft noise at the contact. 

Hide seems to realise that Kaneki wants to focus on searching for shooting stars for now and so settles back against Kaneki’s side as he had been before; one arm wrapped around Kaneki’s waist, head resting on his chest. Kaneki takes a deep breath, the proximity now feeling even more intimate than it had before. The shifting under Hide makes him squirm, tightening his grip around Kaneki. 

Together they lie on the grass, in comfortable silence for hours, watching the stars, gasping together as more and more shooting stars streak across the sky (though Hide’s gasps do tend to be louder). 

Kaneki looks down at one point and notices that Hide’s grip has slackened around him and his breathing has slowed. He’s sure if he could properly see his face he would see that Hide’s eyes are closed too. Kaneki isn’t sure when exactly Hide drifted off but he also knows that he sure isn’t moving now. 

Carefully, very slowly, Kaneki shifts a bit to get comfortable again before moving his gaze to the sky again. Lying outside at night isn’t usually his thing but for Hide, with Hide, he thought that he could stay here for a rather long time. 

Some time later -Kaneki didn’t know how long he had nothing to measure time with but the movement of the stars and he wasn’t exactly an astronomer- Hide stirs, waking back up. “Mmm,” Hide makes a sleepy sound. 

_ As if he couldn’t get any cuter, _ Kaneki thought with mild annoyance. 

“Oh,” Hide says, pushing off Kaneki’s chest into a sitting position, “oh I fell asleep I’m sorry.” He rubs at his eyes, Kaneki’s heart clenches. 

Kaneki struggles to find his words, “It’s-it’s okay, I enjoyed the stars.”

Hide looks up, happening to catch a shooting star. “It’s really late you must be exhausted,” Hide says.

Kaneki shrugs, though now that Hide says it he really is. 

Hide stands, reaching down a hand to help Kaneki stand up. Which Kaneki takes, and now they’re standing chest to chest under the starlight and Kaneki can just see the planes of Hide’s face. Whether it is a result of sleepiness, or the romance of the night something gives him the boldness to lean forwards and press his mouth against Hide’s. 

Hide immediately presses back, tilting his head and opening his mouth slightly to meet Kaneki. They lose minutes like that, close together in the darkness, exchanging breath. One of Hide’s hands comes up to run into Kaneki’s hair, the other is wrapped around his waist, reminiscent of how it had been as he slept. At Hide’s movement Kaneki fuzzily thinks he should probably move his arms too and manages to bring them both up to rest on Hide’s hips. Feeling the roughness, the variety of texture of Hide’s plant clothing under his hands. 

At a particularly firm press forwards of Hide’s mouth (which was accompanied by him gripping Kaneki’s hair) Kaneki’s grip on Hide’s hips tightens which causes a small whine out of Hide and only leads to him pressing forwards more. 

Eventually they break apart, needing to breath properly. Kaneki’s hands loosen on Hide’s hips. And Hide’s hand slides from Kaneki’s hair down to the juncture where his neck meets his shoulder. Kaneki shudders a bit at the sensation of Hide’s hand there. 

“Hey,” Kaneki is surprised to hear how rough his voice is just from lack of use and from making out and his face immediately turns very red, he is grateful for the darkness of the night which is hopefully hiding his blush. 

He clears his throat and tries again, “Hey, I don’t know how far you live but like you said it’s really late do you wanna,” he pauses, blushing more, “do you wanna come stay with me?”

At Hide’s wide, excited eyes he hurries to add, “Just for sleeping it’s late and I’m tired and yeah but the bed is big and comfy and…” he trails off. 

“Sure!” Hide says, far too excitedly for this late at night in Kaneki’s opinion. Though he secretly is glad Hide is excited about the prospect. “On one condition.”

“What- what’s that?” Kaneki asks nervously. 

“I get to cuddle with you,” Hide says, his wide grin easily visible despite the darkness. 

Kaneki sighs at Hide’s antics, “Yeah Hide, that sounds good.” Hide’s grin somehow widens.

Crinkling his nose at it’s dampness from the grass Kaneki gathers up the blanket and leads the way into the house and towards the bedroom, dropping the blanket off on the ground outside the door as he goes to wash later. He switches on the bedroom light and steps out of Hide’s way so Hide can enter the bedroom too. 

Hide does and suddenly Kaneki feels warm all over. To hide his rising blush Kaneki moves over to the dresser and pulls out a spare shirt and loose shorts. 

“Here,” he says, turning and holding them out to Hide, “spare pyjamas for you… though I’m not sure what you usually sleep in.” He glances down at Hide’s clothes. 

“Thanks,” Hide smiles at Kaneki warmly. 

Kaneki quickly grabs his own pyjamas and hurries off to the attached bathroom to get changed and get ready for bed. He comes out a few minutes later to Hide perched on the end of the bed in his clothes, his plant clothing draped over the chair in corner. 

_ I’m too tired to deal with the image of him in my clothes,  _ Kaneki thinks, firmly ignoring it as best he can and saying, “You can lie down you know.”

“I wasn’t sure which side you preferred.”

Kaneki nods his thanks and understanding, he turns off the light and then climbs into the side of bed closest to the bathroom silently, not trusting his voice. 

Hide stands and slips into the other side of the bed. Wiggling under the covers until he is pressed up against Kaneki’s side. Kaneki stiffens, “This okay?” Hide asks, “I know I said we had to cuddle but if you’re uncomfortable…”

“No, no it’s fine,” Kaneki rolls in bed so he’s facing Hide. Soon their hands and legs are tangled together. To Kaneki’s surprise it is comfortable. Hide sighs in contentment, his amber eyes closing. Sleepily they open back up and Hide smiles at Kaneki. 

He leans forwards and chastely kisses Kaneki on the lips before snuggling back and settling further under the covers. Seemingly immediately he falls asleep. Kaneki remains awake for a while longer, watching Hide as he sleeps, as calm and peace seems to flow through him. 

_ He’s so beautiful… _ might be the last thought which runs through Kaneki’s head before he too slips to sleep. 

By the time Hide wakes up the next morning Kaneki is already in the kitchen getting a pot of coffee brewing. He hears Hide’s footsteps pad through the doorway and turns to greet him. 

“Good-” all conscious thought abruptly leaves Kaneki’s mind at the image of a sleepy Hide dressed in his clothing, his shirt partially lifted up where Hide is scratching absentmindedly at his stomach. Hide’s choppy shoulder length hair is mussed and fluffy from sleep. 

_ Holy shit.  _

Kaneki’s sudden silence makes Hide’s open his eyes more fully, yawning widely in an attempt to wake up. Kaneki feels like he might as well have smoke coming out his ears at the image in front of him. “Good morning?” Hide inquires sleepily.

“Y-yeah,” Kaneki stutters out, “good morning.” He turns abruptly back to the coffee maker, “Coffee?” 

He can hear Hide flopping down into a chair behind him. “Mmm yeah that sounds good thank you.” 

On autopilot Kaneki prepares two cups of coffee black and brings them both to the table. Making sure to bring the sugar for Hide. 

Partway through their cups, once they both have a bit more life into them Hide says, “Do you want to just spend the day together? Or do you need to work on your book?” 

He looks over at Kaneki out of the corner of his eye, “The plants need harvesting anyways and it… might be nice to spend a full day together before you go.”

Kaneki looks down, the ache in his chest when he looks at Hide no longer feels so pleasant. 

“Yeah, I have time, my draft is just about finished anyways.” He brings his eyes up to meet Hide’s, “A day together sounds really nice.” 

Hide takes a deep breath, smiles a soft smile and nods firmly, “Let’s do it then! We can even make a dinner with the spoils of our labour.” 

Kaneki nods in return. 

Awkwardly -but in tandem- they get ready for the day. They get dressed into their regular clothes, and head outside. Together, under Hide’s direction, they harvest all the rest of the plants which Kaneki had planted. Only getting occasionally distracted for short kisses. Kaneki had a strong suspicion that if it had not been for Hide’s influence that there is no way that they all would finished growing at exactly the same time. But it’s not like he is going to object. 

They each take trips into the kitchen to deposit the loads of freshly picked food into the kitchen for preparation and consumption later. The small kitchen table rapidly filling to overflowing with fresh produce. 

Once done, the garden alarming bare, they sit down at the outside table, both in need of a break. Hide sighs stretching his tanned limbs high above his head and far out in front of him respectively. 

Kaneki licks his dry lips, “I’m thirsty I’m going to go in and grab some lemonade would you like some?”

“Yes please!”

“I’ll grab my laptop and I can read you some more of my book? If you want I mean?” Kaneki asks nervously. 

Hide nods excitedly, sitting up straight in his chair. 

As Kaneki walks by Hide’s chair to go into the house he leans down and kisses Hide quickly on the lips. Hide’s hand reaches into his hair right as he’s pulling away and pulls him back down to deepen the kiss. 

Hide smiles into the kiss, releasing Kaneki’s hair and letting him pull away. Which he does, face flushed as he hurries to grab the lemonade and his laptop. 

He brings everything back and as the afternoon wears on they sit in the heat, drinking the cool lemonade. Kaneki reads excerpts from his book and they discuss the book in general, how well the botanist character is coming together. How much Hide enjoys all the plants that Kaneki has written into the story at his request. 

As evening begins to fall they move into the kitchen, Hide teaches Kaneki a recipe which uses many of the vegetables they’ve harvested. He only occasionally grabs Kaneki by the waist, pulling him in for a kiss. But even with that distraction it’s not long before they have a finished meal and they sit down to eat it. 

But then it is evening, and Hide needs to go home at some point, and so with one more drawn out kiss in the doorstep they say goodbye for the day, both desperately avoiding the subject of how Kaneki has just a few days left before he leaves for good. Then, like always Hide walks off into the woods, stopping at the treeline to wave above his head at Kaneki, who waves back. 

Kaneki steps into his home that won’t be his home for long and closes the door behind him, sinking down against it. 

~ ~ ~

The next few days are spent mainly with Kaneki packing up his belongings and wrapping up what he needs to of his first draft. Despite the fact that the garden doesn’t need tending anymore Hide still comes by every afternoon, he sometimes will help Kaneki pack. Although Kaneki quickly learns that he is more a hindrance to that process than a help as Hide clearly doesn’t seem to be the best at folding clothes,  _ understandable given his wardrobe now that I think about it. _

But it’s not like Kaneki is going to object to the company so he doesn’t say anything, just notes in his head what Hide has packed to redo later. 

Hide  _ is _ helpful in making sure the plants he is taking back with him are packed safely away in boxes that will secure them for the drive. Kaneki even catches Hide whispering to the plants and desperately wonders what Hide is saying but doesn’t feel it is his place to pry. 

They have dinner together the night before Kaneki is set to leave and as Hide is heading home he asks, “Tomorrow right? What time are you planning on leaving?”

Kaneki looks away from Hide’s sad eyes, “After breakfast, not too early though.”

“OK, I’ll see you then,” Hide says firmly.

Kaneki nods, pulling his gaze up to meet Hide’s, something he thinks might have been a mistake as he realises Hide’s eyes are slightly glassy with tears. He can feel his own smarting in response. But Hide blinks hard and they clear, he pulls Kaneki into a kiss. And then waves goodbye and heads off. 

The next morning Kaneki is in the midst of lugging a box from the house into the car when Hide comes around the corner of the house with a, “Yo Kaneki!” nearly making Kaneki drop the box in surprise. He hurries to shove the box into the trunk and greet Hide.  

By the time he has done so Hide has reached him and is leaning forwards for a kiss. Which Kaneki happily reciprocates, only then realising that Hide has both hands held behind him. Kaneki shoots him a skeptical look. 

Hide smiles sheepishly in response, “I brought you a gift to bring home with you.” 

“Oh.”

Hide brings his arms back around from behind his back. In one he is holding a moss ball, like the one the first sunflower was growing out of, only this one is a size that he can hold it comfortably in one hand. Out of this one is also growing a sunflower, but the smallest one Kaneki has ever seen. The head of it is just larger than the palm of his hand. Kaneki feels like he might cry. 

“I wanted you to have something to remember me by,” Hide says softly, the sunflower’s petals danced. “I grew it special so it is small and the bloom will last for a long long time. Just plant it in pot like I taught you, water it once a week and give it lots of sunlight.” 

“Hide,” Kaneki isn’t sure what he is going to say but Hide seems to understand nonetheless. He pushes the little plant forward into Kaneki’s hands, it rocks with purpose once there, like it already knows Kaneki. 

With Kaneki’s hands occupied Hide guides Kaneki’s chin up gently with his hand and kisses him tenderly on the lips. The kiss isn’t long, or deep, but somehow Kaneki knows that Hide is feeling all of what he is: the sadness, the pain, the joy… the love. 

Hide pulls away and the moment ends. 

“Let’s find a safe place for that in your car and get you packed up shall we?” Hide says. 

Kaneki places it securely in one of the cupholders and then together they load the rest of the boxes and luggage into the car. It’s more empty this time seeing as so many of the plants have been left here, Kaneki wonders if his editor is going to think he killed them all. 

Between the two of them it is not long before the car is entirely loaded up. Kaneki does a last sweep of the house and then locks it up. He moves and stands awkwardly beside the driver’s side door. Hide in front of him. 

Kaneki reaches a hand forwards, gently clasping Hide’s, “I’ll see you next year,” he says it as firmly as he can manage, trying to convince them both. 

“Yeah,” Hide says simply. 

Kaneki swallows. “Thank you for the gift.” Hide looks at him, and Kaneki continues, “They suit you you know, sunflowers. They’re so bright. I’m glad I can bring some of that back with me.” 

Hide bites his lip, “I’m glad you like it,” he says quietly. 

Kaneki steps forwards and kisses Hide. He pulls back, “Thank you Hide,” he has so much to say but there is no way it could be encompassed in just a few words, and he thinks that trying to force it out might ruin it all. “Thank you, for everything this summer.”

Hide reaches a hand up to brush some hair off of Kaneki’s forehead, “You’re welcome Kaneki, it truly was a summer like no other.”

Kaneki steps back, reaches behind him to open the car door, “Goodbye Hide.”

“Goodbye Kaneki.”

The car carefully pulls out, rapidly disappearing into the forest down the narrow laneway which leads to the cottage. Hide allows himself to stare at the spot where the car vanished for a few long moments before wrenching himself away. 

Turning around isn’t any better. Turning around means being faced with the empty, locked up house. One which Hide is certain Kaneki will never return to. Kaneki said that he would be back next summer but what were the chances that that would actually happen. Hide doesn’t have a whole lot of experience with humans but he has heard stories. And between that and what experience he does have he knows that humans are fickle, they change their minds rapidly despite their short lifespans. 

Kaneki wasn’t going to come back. 

He was going to return to the city and forget about Hide, or at best Hide would be an anecdote, a footnote in Kaneki’s life. 

Hide allows himself to look longingly towards where Kaneki’s car had disappeared once more before he squares his shoulders and heads home. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, life and getting everything ready to wrap up the [Hide Big Bang](hidebigbang.tumblr.com) made this super delayed (I also didn't want to post on a posting day for that >.<). 
> 
> But here it is! The final and epilogue chapter!

\+ + +

A long sigh huffs out of Hide. He knows he should stop going back to the house in the clearing, knows it isn’t exactly healthy but… he sits again at the edge of the forest, beside the ivy which he and Kaneki had planted. Through his melancholy Hide feels pride as he looks at how it now reaches high up along the trunk of the tree.

_ “At least I’m not coming back here every day any more,” _ Hide says to the ivy in Ancient Japanese,  _ “do I get a bonus for that?” _

Hide feels the gentle reproach coming off of the rustling ivy. 

_ “Yeah, yeah that’s fair.” _

A few weeks have passed since Kaneki left for Tokyo and yet the house still sits vacant. When Hide can’t resist walking up close to the garden he sees that weeds are beginning to grow into the garden. He supposes he should move them, or ask them to grow elsewhere; even for a plant spirit weeds are weeds when they’re in a garden. 

But each time he can’t bring himself to go into the garden. Can’t bring himself to be where so much of the bonding between him and Kaneki happened. To where they fell in love. 

He takes a deep breath. Centreing himself back to the present day and then stands, forcing himself to turn from the clearing and head back to his own home. 

Months pass, through sheer force of will Hide returns to the house less and less; not that he thinks of Kaneki any less, the thoughts are still there, just as omnipresent as they ever were. 

One afternoon, in a moment of weakness, of sadness, Hide visits the house again. As he steps out from under the colour-changing leaves of the forest he immediately notices a change in the house. There is life in it again. 

The windows are open, even the back door is propped open. At first Hide’s heart soars, hope rushing through him at the mere prospect of seeing Kaneki again but then he remembers that even if Kaneki is going to return it’s not going to be until summer. 

And so his heart crashes down. 

He steps back into the trees to hide himself, in case anyone looks out. He has quite had his fill of meeting random humans. 

Something in him makes him want to check though, something makes him circle around the perimeter of the clearing so that he can see what car is parked out front. What he sees makes him audibly gasp. 

It’s Kaneki’s. 

Not that Hide knows anything about cars but it looks exactly the same. He steps out from under the trees. Still hesitating. Still not believing. 

But then there he is. Walking out of the house and towards the car. Hide breaks into a run, all hesitation gone. 

Hide tackles into Kaneki’s side, arms wrapping around his neck tightly. Kaneki yelps in alarm, “Hide?!” 

Hide doesn’t give him a chance to say anything more, shoving his lips against Kaneki’s in a firm kiss. Kaneki makes another squeak of surprise but soon pushes back into Hide’s embrace, his arms coming up to wrap around Hide’s waist. They break apart, resting their foreheads’ together, silent for the moment. Enjoying being in each other’s presence again. 

“What on earth are you doing here?” Hide asks, lowering his head to push and kiss against Kaneki’s neck. 

“Uhhh,” Kaneki seems to be having trouble concentrating. Hide kisses more firmly just to feel the tremble which goes through Kaneki’s body. But then relents, and just relaxes with this head on Kaneki’s shoulder, hair in Kaneki’s face. Kaneki lifts a hand to Hide’s hair, “Come inside and I’ll explain?”

Hide raises his head and nods firmly, taking Kaneki’s hand. He had let Kaneki disappear once, he wasn’t about to do it again. 

Together they make their way into the house, Hide looks around curiously at the many moving boxes as Kaneki leads the way into the kitchen. 

“Sorry don’t mind the mess,” Kaneki says, “I haven’t had much chance to unpack yet.”

Hide stares at Kaneki. Not daring to hope. Kaneki blushes under the scrutiny and turns away to busy himself with making coffee. With his back still turned Kaneki says, “Your cape, it’s different.”

“Ah,” Hide pulls it around himself and Kaneki turns around so he can see it better. During the summer the cape had been made up of a bright mix of many shades of green but now along with the green is a mix of yellows, oranges, and reds. 

“It does that in the fall,” Hide explains, “like the leaves on the trees. It has enough of my energy that it could stay green but I think it likes to match the forest to be honest.”

“It’s gorgeous,” Kaneki says softly. 

Hide blushes, face now more closely matching his cape. 

Kaneki finishes making the coffee and brings it to the table, where they both sit nervously. “So,” Hide begins, “gonna explain what you and a whole bunch of moving boxes are doing here?” 

Kaneki shifts in his seat. Hands twitching around his mug. “I bought this house. I got rid of my apartment in Tokyo and bought this house.” Hide’s mouth falls open. Kaneki still doesn’t meet Hide’s eyes. “My lease was up anyways, and I had a bunch of money saved from my last book’s sales. The proprietor said that not many people rented it anyways so she was happy to sell it to me.” 

Kaneki finally looks up to Hide. Who is still staring at Kaneki, mouth slightly agape. 

“Why?” Hide asks. 

“What- what do you mean why?” a look of panic crosses Kaneki’s face. 

“I mean what about Tokyo. Isn’t that your home?”

“No. I mean yeah I guess so and I will have to go back there sometimes but I dunno… I got back there and it just felt wrong. I immediately missed here and missed the woods and the garden. Tokyo isn’t exactly green.” 

Kaneki pauses to take a long sip of coffee, “I thought, ‘well it’s just cause you’re not used to it now’, but the feeling never went away. This feeling of  _ wrong. _ So I started making plans to see if I could come back.” He smiles at Hide, “Turns out I could.”

“That’s-” Hide doesn’t know what to say, “I’m so glad you did.”

“Plus,” a blush starts mounting on Kaneki’s cheeks, “I missed  _ you _ every second I was gone.”

A mirroring blush forms on Hide’s face, along with a huge grin. “I missed you so much too,” Hide feels like he might cry of joy. 

Instead he stands just enough to lean forward and kiss Kaneki on the lips, where he can taste the coffee Kaneki loves so much and Hide thinks about how although it is such a bitter taste, on Kaneki’s lips it somehow becomes sweet.

He breaks away, “Let’s get you moved in.” 

\+ + +

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much to everyone for your lovely comments and support! It makes me so happy that this has gotten such an incredible reaction, especially for my first long fic (I can't believe I wrote 18k holy shit). 
> 
> I want to thank Midori again for being such a great cheerleader and for always reading my chapters early, finding little mistakes, and telling me that it is all good, gave me such courage and enthusiasm to keep going <3 
> 
> Everyone's support meant so much and brought me such joy. Thank you!!

**Author's Note:**

> Lemme know what you all think (please) :) I’ve got lots written already so it should come out on a good schedule.


End file.
